I never understood how she could spend so much money on special shampoo and conditioner. It irritated me every time she came home with another bag of expensive stuff and I'd point out that there was perfectly good products at the drug store for a 1/4 of the price.

Well, when we split up, she left several fancy bottles in the shower. When I ran out of my cheap shampoo, I figured I'd use up the expensive stuff rather than just let it go to waste.

You probably already know where this is going. Yep, I now buy HER brand of shampoo AND conditioner and have to make special trips to get it since they don't carry it at the drug store. I guess I owe her an apology but that's not going to happen.

So my girlfriend gave me a plant as a present saying something about wanting to give me something that would grow if I cared for it. I'm guessing it was meant as a metaphor for our relationship. Well, the relationship didn't work out but that plant is still around. I barely water the thing but it's doing fine and now I'd feel bad letting it die just to spite her. That plant is messing with my head.

I gave her this years ago when we were dating. She loved it. We moved in together. We started fighting. She moved out. All of this years ago.

This weekend in the middle of moving out, I literally found a monster under the bed.

Uh... she left some stuff in the bathroom including one Costco size box of..stuff. Can I recycle these?

Okay, this isn't a relationship entry. This is just a "stuff that's left behind" entry. A couple of years ago I moved into a new apartment. The woman who lived there before me was a small, quiet, almost bookish Korean lady (lady sounds too old, she was in her mid twenties). She showed me around her apartment which was very non-descript. Basic Ikea chairs, white duvets, simple desk and chairs....in other words, boring. Ms. Kang was boring. The day I moved in, I was unloading stuff into the bedroom closet and found a poster tube in the back. I opened it up and pulled out two posters. They were the seediest black and white Lesbian porn art I've ever seen. I've added a photo here and I'd like to add that this is a day in disneyland with the kids compared to the images left behind by the Kang. I quickly stuffed the posters back in the tube and left a message on Ms. Kang's voice mail letting her know I had her mail and um...a poster tube I found in the closet. I never admitted to having opened it. Well, Ms. Kang showed up, picked up her mail and her tube (head held high, I might add) and I never saw her again. It makes me wonder where she is now and who she is surprising the crap out of. You go Kang, you go girlfriend.

*Please note, Ms.Kang is not the real name of this closeted lesbian. It was something even more boring and unsuspecting.